Welcome to the Internet's top destination for learning how to say Matte Scheinker's first name.
How to say my name
Matte (pronounced Ma'ti) is a Hebrew name (מתי) that is often transliterated into English as Motti. My father thought that the letters 'o' and 'i' were feminine, so he replaced them with the testosterone-rich 'a' and 'e.' Consequently, the way my name is spelled has little to do with how it is pronounced. Thanks Dad.
How not to say my name
Matt
I am fully aware that the word 'matte' is also an English noun meaning a decorative border or painted background. It's also an adjective meaning dull. In this usage, 'matte' is pronounced like the English name 'Matt.' This is an understandable pronunciation if you're reading my name, have never heard anyone speak it, are a native English speaker, and wish to insult me by calling me a border, background, or dull.
Matt-Eee
I give these people credit — at least they're trying.
Matthew
These people think that I misspelled my own name. Or perhaps they believe the 'h' and 'w' are silent when written.
Mah-Tay-O
No one calls me this yet. It is just on the list as a preventative measure. A guy with a name like mine can never be too careful.
Mahd-Day
Often said like a greeting in a frat house.
Marty or Monty
Understandable. I mumble sometimes when introducing myself. Also, I used to explain my name to people as "like Marty without the r" until my freshman philosophy professor explained to me that there was nothing like Marty without the r. Philosophers enjoy speaking in pretentious abstractions. I should have been a philosopher.
Dude or Chief or Buddy or Sport or Champ or Guy or Man or My Man or You
As in "Hey John. Hey Scott. Hey Dude."
Mmmbrlxttiemmm
A surprisingly common mispronunciation centered in the reluctance for people to make a reasonable attempt at my name. Generally, a solid 'M' is heard, followed by a string of unrelated consonant sounds. This mispronunciation is dedicated to my former boss, who used to introduce his team as "This is John, Scott, and [a sudden coughing and sneezing fit would overtake him, forcing him to cover his mouth] Mmpxl8rte." I guess he was allergic to my name.